Pushing Through the Tough Times

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Pushing through those difficult times can be quite draining to say the least.  There are times when it seems as though everything is falling apart.  The harder we try, the more obstacles that get in our way.  It’s those times that we must push through.  Yes, we become very discouraged and exhausted; even angry and confused; but we mustn’t allow those times to cause us to give up.  Life happens and a lot of the times it’s not the way we want it to be, that’s just life.  If there were some miracle cure I would be a millionaire by now, but there’s not.  Life is going to go on, whether we like it or not.  We can either accept it, obstacles and all, or we can resist it, either way will not stop its process from happening.  

So many times I have yelled out to God, “Why is this happening?” and many times I have isolated myself from the disappointments & heartache that Life throws my way, but that only causes me to be in more pain and it doesn’t change what has happened.  I use to always quit, never finishing anything, because of all the bumps along the way.  This only caused me to miss out on so many opportunities and most important , it made me feel terrible about myself.  So, today, I dust myself off, assess the situation, and start again.  Sometimes, life just seems to flow peacefully, but sometimes I have to push through those difficult times, while holding on with all that I’ve got.

Don’t take it personally when things aren’t going as you planned.  It’s not always your fault when things seem to fall apart; Just keep going, do the next right thing, say a prayer and keep pushing through the mud and the muck.  Soon it will pass and you will have grown even stronger than you were before.  

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

Getting into the Solution

So, yesterday was not a very good day for me; I was all wrapped up in myself and self-pity was running riot.  I was feeling as though I had let everyone down and that my dreams were never going to come true; that I was nothing but a failure and I might as well give up.  Yes I went there and for most of the day at that.  It seemed like the harder I tried, the worse things got.  Overwhelming feelings took over like a sudden disaster and seemed to be suffocating me.

I knew that if I allowed these feelings to continue that I was headed for some dangerous territory; so I did what I know to do and I went to my Sponser’s house and shared my feelings and thoughts, in a vulnerable way.  There was nothing positive coming out of my mouth, especially about myself.  She pointed out to me that all I was doing was beating myself up and the only place that was going to get me was into a deep and dark depression.  We talked for a long time and it really felt better getting out what was honestly going on with me , both in my head and in my heart.

Sometimes we just have bad days; We feel “bluh”and just want to escape from it all; especially when everything seems to be falling apart around us.  If we don’t quickly get into the solution, we will lead ourselves’ to much darker places; depression, despair, isolation, fear, loneliness & even destruction.

When you have those days, don’t  beat yourself up; we all go through such times.  Reach out to someone, share what’s going on and be open-minded and willing enough to take some suggestions; and when things seem to be falling apart, don’t allow it to cause you to give up; Just because things aren’t working out on your time-table , doesn’t mean they never will.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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Life is a Gift

I have spent so many years trying to figure this thing called Life out.  I drove myself into bitterness and anger.  I was always crying out to God, asking “Why Me”?  I even became resentful towards God; believing He had abandoned me to only be cursed the rest of my life. I was miserable to say the least.  Nothing made me happy, nothing nor no one.  I couldn’t understand what was going on; why God allowed me to be abused as a child, why my mother was tortured for so many years, why we never had anything.  The world seemed like a cruel place indeed and I wanted nothing to do with reality.  So, when someone told me life was a gift, I would become outraged.  Everything inside of me would cringe with disgust.  I mean that was easy for them to say, they had everything, they weren’t abused, they didn’t lose everything they had, nor did they ever have to sleep in a car; so I tuned them out and before I  knew it, I had become verbally abusive to others who would say such things.  I just didn’t want to hear any of it, because I didn’t believe it.  To me Life was a curse, it was full of suffering and pain, and I found no joy in it whatsoever.

This type of thinking would soon drive me to a life style that I am not proud of , but share with others so they know that others have felt and done the same things.  My life only spiraled downward and before I knew it I was at the point of just wanting to die.  It was then that I finally surrendered and started the Journey of a Lifetime.

One by one I faced the pains and hurt, the fears and tears; And one by one I released them.  I know that sounds so easy, but it wasn’t and still today, when I am not doing what I need to do to stay grounded with God, I fall short in these areas of my life.  However, it doesn’t last long and I am aware of its presence much quicker than before.  I face it and I don’t run, which is a miracle in and of itself.  I now have a relationship with God, like I’ve never had before .  No, its not perfect and sometimes I still doubt and get angry at times, but God understands.  He knows that I am not perfect and neither does He expect me to be.

Coming to near death on several occasions, made me realize just how precious Life really is.  There’s so much I don’t understand, but today I don’t try to figure it all out; that will only drive me to insanity again.  I accept reality for what it is and I live the best that I can.  I try to be always have a  grateful heart, no matter how tough things may be; but the most precious thing I have received in life is Life itself; Yes there have been many times when I didn’t think I could go on one second longer, there have been tragedies, and I still don’t understand why sometimes; but what I do know is the most precious gifts in my life are family & friends; the love we all have for one another; It’s the laughter the joy and the peace that I hold onto when things get rough and my relationship with God is the most important relationship that I have; He shows himself in my husband , friend, animals, sons, and so much more.  I see God everywhere today and that’s a far cry away from where I use to be in life.

Life gets difficult, it throws you punches that literally can knock you out; Things happen that just aren’t fair and there’s pain that seems like it will surely rip your heart out; But that’s life and with all of it’s pitfalls, it is still a Precious Gift that we are blessed to have.

(((hugs & love)))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Commitment

Keeping our word is of the utmost importance;  Doing what we say we are going to do, defines our true character and whether or not others will trust us.

When I first got clean/sober, no one expected me to do what I said I was going to do.  I had been deceiving so many during my active addiction, that no one trusted me anymore.  It took some hard work and a lot of practice, but today I can say, unless there are circumstances beyond my control, I do what I say I am going to do.

Have you ever started a project only to leave it undone?  For instance, something as simple as washing clothes or doing dishes?  I always had to leave something undone, whether it was a few utensils in the sink or clothes left in the dryer.  When I realized that if I couldn’t keep a commitment to the small things, I would never be able to tackle the bigger things in life; I began to change.  No, I am not always perfect at this and there are times when either I am sick or something , like an emergency or unexpected visitor comes up; that I am unable to complete what I set out to do.  However today, people know that if I don’t follow through with something, it’s because of something completely out of my control.

Recently I have had to re-group in this area of my life.  When I had to quit my job because of circumstances at home I began to isolate; Then my Facebook page was hacked, then the sales didn’t go like we thought they would, then I became ill and ended up in the hospital for the 3rd time in a year and several other things seemed to be falling apart; That’s when I began feeling sorry for myself and with that self-loathing and self-pity not only did isolation take over, but every time I made plans with someone, I would make up some excuse as to why I couldn’t go through with what I had said I would do.

In Recovery we have Sponsors and although my Sponsor is also my best friend, she doesn’t hesitate to call me out on things.  This was no different; She told me that I was slipping and setting up for a relapse; She was concerned for my well-being and saw that I not only had halted the healing process , but I had gone backwards in leaps and bounds.  At first I was in shock and felt completely helpless, but then I began to pray and take responsibility for my actions; followed by making right those wrongs, to the best of my ability.  I am so happy to say that today I am back on track; back writing, back doing what I love to do on Facebook and helping others; Back selling the jewelry and other inspirational items at my online store and at the 2 on-site stores in Alabama.  No, I am not giving up and Yes I am keeping my word!  I am following through with what I began and I plan on seeing it through to the end

We all fall, we all get off track; None of us are perfect, but we can start over at any given time and learn from our mistakes; Besides that’s what success is all about, growing and learning from the setbacks.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Release the bondage of resentments

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Has life become monotonous to you?

When I first began Recovery, it was both exciting and exhilarating at the same time.  Everything was new, the fellowship, new friends, camp outs, the beach conventions, my family was beginning to have faith in me once again and most importantly, I was living life without the use of drugs and I was loving it.

Then that “pink cloud” lifted and I was bored with the same old routine; It just seemed like something was missing and I couldn’t figure out what it was.  I became isolated, depressed, and confused.  I was at the point to where if I didn’t do something, I was headed back to those dark places, I had worked so hard to get out of.  That’s when I ran across an amazing woman, Cheryl , who is one of the founders of Waves of Gratitude; She helped me to see that I could live my dreams, that anything was possible, I just had to take the first step.  She also would not allow me to talk negative about myself or anything I was a part of for that matter; and before I knew it I was writing a book, creating my own Facebook Page (Wings of Encouragement), taking classes and a four-hour exam to become a counselor.  It was amazing at what that one step turned into, in so many areas of my life.

So when I get back to that feeling of being bored with the same old routine, I first remember how far I have come, Second, I write down at least 5 goals that I want to accomplish and keep the list to where I can read it on a daily basis, and Third, I take a step towards those goals, no matter how small it may be.  There are also times I just change my routine up a little; I may go camping, dance like crazy to music (which is very therapeutic for myself),  spend time with some friends, take a small overnight trip, and yes sometimes I even start working out, but that one , well although I know I should, it’s usually the last resort, lol.

My point is if you are becoming bored with the same old same old, then spice it up some; start a new project, change your routine around,  do things that make you laugh, just go and be silly a little while.  You will be surprised at how much a small change can change your entire perspective & mood , for that matter.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Happiness is an Inside Thing!

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Good Luck Everyone

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy