Category Archives: addiction

If we couldn’t handle it , we wouldn’t be going through it.


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Has life become monotonous to you?


When I first began Recovery, it was both exciting and exhilarating at the same time.  Everything was new, the fellowship, new friends, camp outs, the beach conventions, my family was beginning to have faith in me once again and most importantly, I was living life without the use of drugs and I was loving it.

Then that “pink cloud” lifted and I was bored with the same old routine; It just seemed like something was missing and I couldn’t figure out what it was.  I became isolated, depressed, and confused.  I was at the point to where if I didn’t do something, I was headed back to those dark places, I had worked so hard to get out of.  That’s when I ran across an amazing woman, Cheryl , who is one of the founders of Waves of Gratitude; She helped me to see that I could live my dreams, that anything was possible, I just had to take the first step.  She also would not allow me to talk negative about myself or anything I was a part of for that matter; and before I knew it I was writing a book, creating my own Facebook Page (Wings of Encouragement), taking classes and a four-hour exam to become a counselor.  It was amazing at what that one step turned into, in so many areas of my life.

So when I get back to that feeling of being bored with the same old routine, I first remember how far I have come, Second, I write down at least 5 goals that I want to accomplish and keep the list to where I can read it on a daily basis, and Third, I take a step towards those goals, no matter how small it may be.  There are also times I just change my routine up a little; I may go camping, dance like crazy to music (which is very therapeutic for myself),  spend time with some friends, take a small overnight trip, and yes sometimes I even start working out, but that one , well although I know I should, it’s usually the last resort, lol.

My point is if you are becoming bored with the same old same old, then spice it up some; start a new project, change your routine around,  do things that make you laugh, just go and be silly a little while.  You will be surprised at how much a small change can change your entire perspective & mood , for that matter.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Faith


Faith is what makes life bearable; It’s what gives me the strength during tough times.  It’s that spark, even if tiny at the time, which ignites into flames, as long as I keep holding on to the belief that this too shall pass.

Now I am not saying  I have it all together; That I never doubt or just want to give up at times, but through perseverance and determination, with God’s strength that’s within me; I keep moving forward no matter how hard it may be.   Then Just when I think I can’t do it one more second, the change I was waiting for takes place.

Faith doesn’t come easy for myself and many others.  Growing up in an alcoholic family , being abused, and abandoned on a regular basis; made it difficult for me to believe anything about God, much less that He was loving and caring.  However, I continued to go along with what everyone else was doing and saying; even went to a Christian High School and College, but it just wasn’t there.  I always had an impending doom attitude; believing that God was up on some big throne waiting to punish me yet again; that I was hopeless and a bad little girl.   These thoughts are what I lived with most of my life; they are what was engraved into the core of my being.  The saddest part was that the churches I grew up in were what I call Hell, Fire, & Damnation churches.  The portrayed God to be this person who was angry at all of His children and was going to get revenge on each and every one of them.  If you wore the wrong thing, talked the wrong way, looked or acted like you liked a boy, danced, laughed & more; you were going to hell.  So no wonder it was hard for me to develop a loving and caring relationship with God.  He had always been portrayed as Mean & Vengeful.  Then there’s the psychological factor that weighs in; Counselors believe that the father image of the family is what a child bases their first impression of God as;   So for me that was horrible; My father was a very abusive and sick man; so looking at God that way (even though I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at the time) made it even scarier.

I know that a lot of times in life we don’t feel God’s presence.  We don’t think He is even there anymore.  With all the hurt and pain in the world today, it may look and feel like He has left you all alone, but He hasn’t.   I do not believe that God makes things happen for a reason; I can’t believe that, or I would be agreeing to the fact that He made my Dad abuse me, in some horrible ways, just to prove or make something happen.  However each of us chooses our path and God will  not go against our will; I also believe that Life happens and that God can take what has happened and turn into something powerful; whether the event itself brings someone into you life, a greater bond with your family, an opportunity, or a number of other things.  I just know for me, I can’t believe that He sits up in Heaven thinking up ways to make bad things happen to us.  He lives within my heart; He is my Spirit, He is my God and He’s with me all the time.  He has given me all that I need to live a happy, joyous and free life; I just have to learn how to tap into that power.  Some days I have all the faith in the world, then others not so much; but one thing is for sure, I am much closer to God than I once was.

(((hugs & love)))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Guilt & Shame


Guilt and Shame can keep you stuck in the past and fearful of the future, if not dealt with in the appropriate manner.

In Recovery we go by our 8th & 9th Steps, which first tell us to make a list of all the persons we have harmed , then to become willing to make amends , to the best of our ability.  This does not mean that we grovel or crawl, begging forgiveness; it means what it simply says, We do it to the best of our ability.  We approach the person and or place, as long as it does not cause harm to ourselves’ or others, and we don’t say I’m Sorry (for they have heard that quite often and it doesn’t mean much to them at all) we admit our wrongs, ask what we can do to make it right, and then we go out there and make a living amends, which means don’t continue the same behaviors that put us in such a predicament to begin with.

It’s not about begging for forgiveness; It’s about owning up to your part and being willing to make it right; Whether or not they forgive us is not the point; The point is that we faced something that we never thought we would be able to; that we are finally taking responsibility for our wrongful acts and are willing to not only make it right, but to live differently in the future.

Most of the time they do forgive us, but sometimes they don’t and that’s okay.  Each person is entitled to their feelings and have their own process of healing; But now we can hold our heads up high, looking the world in the eye, for we have completely and thoroughly examined our wrongs and made them right.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

Family, We may not have it all together but together we have it all


 

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This is one of our latest new items; New Color and New Charm;  We also now have Cross Bracelets and 2 new charms;

I am so excited about this new Journey I am on; Life is so good and to be able to help people and write and have my own line of Inspirational Jewelry & More Store – well it’s truly a blessing.

Don’t ever give up on your dreams, no matter what your age may be;  You deserve the best that life and love have to offer; so go for those dreams and don’t allow anyone to hold you back.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

 

The Value itself produces the Joy


For years all of my values and morals were non-existent.  I had either shoved them away, choosing not to believe in them any longer or I had decided that I no longer wanted to live being the good girl no more.  When my Values seized to exist, my life went down in a rapid manner; Before long I was acting and acting out in ways that I had once said I would never do.  It took nearly losing my life and being locked up in jail before I realized that something had to change and quick; That’s when I began the Journey of re-evaluating what it was I truly believed.  

Honesty, was the first value I applied back into my life; It was a do or die situation and I knew that if nothing changed then nothing would change; Then I began to add willingness and open-mindedness to my list; Before long Faith, Hope, Perseverance, Courage, Serenity, Surrender and many more values were added.  No matter what I was struggling with those values helped me to get into the solution and soon whatever I was facing got better or at least more tolerable; and before I knew it Joy had returned; But too often we forget that the joy doesn’t come from the external things at all, it comes from the value itself.  

So if things are a bit out of sorts in your life; Get back to the Basics; Get back to the values you once valued and soon you will notice just how much of a difference they truly make.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy 

http://www.wingsofencuragement.net/

Easy Does It


Sometimes we just have to let go and go with the flow;

It’s much easier said that done, but when we get in the obsessive behavior of trying to figure everything out, we will not only cause matters to become worse, we will lose our focus in the process.

Have you ever tried to remember a  character’s name in a particular movie?  You try for days to re-call that name and then finally when you’ve about driven yourself crazy, you just give up,  thinking the answer will never come.  Then one day, out of no where the name just pops into your head.  It’s because you quit trying so hard.  That’s the way life is; we try to figure out what we should or shouldn’t do, we try to figure out all the tiniest of details, only to find ourselves’ moving farther and farther away from what it is we are searching for.

When I get to this place in my life, I just have to “Choose” to believe that God has it under control and in the mean time I also “Choose” to just go with the flow.  Then tension that sets up inside of me, from trying to find the answers, keeps me from enjoying life all together.   So I take a deep breath, say a prayer, and get out there and do something fun; I continue to take care of my responsibilities, but I no longer allow the How’s, What if’s, Should I’s, to rule my life.  I just do the next right thing and choose to go about my life with the “Easy Does It” attitude.  Then before I have even recognized it, just the right door opens, or closes and new opportunities present themselves’ and I am right where I need to be.

Yes it’s hard to approach life with the Easy Does It attitude, but it’s also far less stressful than worrying about every little detail and causing ourselves’ unnecessary stress and tension.  So if it’s just for today, then do it just for today, but try giving yourself a break and take it easy for a while; Your answers will come and no amount of pushing or forcing is going to make them get here any quicker then they are supposed to ; it’s only going to cause you to miss them when they do present themselves’.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/


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“You’re braver than you believe; Stronger than you seem; And smarter than you think”

 

Weathering the Storms


There is nothing wrong with feeling sad about something that has or is going on in your life; Actually there’s nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself every once in a while; Just don’t unpack and stay in that place for long.  Sometimes I have to make myself get up and do something, no matter how small of a task it may be.  For instance, once when I was going through some very difficult times, I had to force myself to brush my teeth; yes that’s what I said, brush my teeth.  The self-pity had turned into full-blown depression and the task of waking up seemed to often be, more than I could handle.  I am grateful to say that eventually, with the help of friends and family, I was able to crawl out of that dark place; but one thing I am not confused about is that if I don’t continue to do what it is I need to do, spiritually, mentally, & physically, it won’t be long until I am right back in that dark place.

Yes, it’s hard sometimes and pushing myself is not something that comes easy for me.  However, I have noticed that when I just look at one small task, focus on it and not worry about the whole picture; I tend to get more accomplished.  So if you’ve been struggling with being struck, down, or depressed; try taking a very small task and working to accomplish it.  Who knows you might be able to see it through to the end, or even better it may ignite that spark within you that seems to have faded away.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

The “H.O.W.” of the Program


In Recovery, the “H.O.W.’S” of the Program are ; Honesty , Open-mindedness, & Willingness; which hold true not just for those in a 12-Step Program, but life in general.

There are many 12-Step Programs available all across the world today ; from Addiction to Grief, to Co-dependency, to Over-Eaters , and so much more; Whatever the group may be,  the primary focus is on Honesty, Open-mindedness, & Willingness, for without these 3 nothing is going to change.

So whatever you are going through in life, remember that until you are able to get Honest with Yourself, you will be unable to be honest with others; Until you are Open-minded enough to take suggestions from those who want to help, you will remain the same and if you don’t become Willing to do the above, you will never find a new way to live.

Honesty, Open-minded, & Willing are a must , no matter what you are facing in life; for without them, there are no changes and if there are no changes, things remain the same, or they could  get worse.

(((hugs & love)))

Wendy