Tag Archives: honesty

Honesty


Growing up honesty was not a value we practiced in our home.  I learned from a very young age not to let the “outside” world know what was really happening in our “inside” world at home.   It was something I did on a daily basis & all throughout my day for that matter.

As I grew older , I continued to take this same sense of “dishonesty” with me wherever I went.  It was how I was raised, it’s what I thought was not only right , but okay.  Needless to say, this type of life only lead me to much darker places.  I lied to get what I wanted, when I wanted it .  I lied about being sick, so I didn’t have to do this or that; my lying became such a habit that I even began believing the lies I was telling to everyone else.

During my youth years, my mom and us 4 kids began attending church on a regular basis.  I was so insecure and so afraid.  I grew up in the old testament bible beating you upside the head type of church and I just knew God was going to kill me before I left that building, on so many occasions.  I mean if I was going to hell because I lied, then I might as well hang it up and if kissing a boy gave you a disease and struck you to your death, then I should have already been gone; Yes it was very confusing.  Then bring in the factor that my father sexually abused me and well, I just gave up at that point.  I was more afraid to walk in a church building than I was not to.  I wanted to believe with all of my heart, I really did; but I was too afraid.  I didn’t see God as loving and caring; I saw Him as someone who was waiting to zap me at any moment and send me straight to hell.  I knew that I had not lived up to any Godly Standards in my life, much less the way I was living at the time.  I was more afraid than comfortable with the entire God Thing.

The thoughts and fears and guilt became so overbearing that I chose to run the other way; to completely get away from God; I did whatever I could to make Him “Zap” me, so to speak; I started using the drugs and alcohol to numb all the confusion and pain; That’s when the grips of addiction took hold and swept me away.  I lived in a hell like I never even imagined was possible and the darkness within my heart; well to this day I don’t even like to speak of it.  I hated everyone, only liked you to get what I could from you, & most of all I hated myself with everything I had within me.  I hated the way I looked, acted, talked, walked, slept, played, did homework, & anything else I could think of.  I envied everyone around me,; what I truly wanted was to go with Alice into a rabbit hole, but I didn’t want to come back.

Today my life is completely different.  I found a new way to live ; one that took my life in the direction I thought only others could enjoy.  It didn’t happen overnight; I had to face many fears along the way, the scariest being, have to  face feel my feelings.  Yes that one nearly got the best of me.  However , with a Sponsor in my pocket, God on my side, & Hope in my heart – I kept going One Day at a Time.  I not only learned to be honest, I learned one of the most important values in life; I learned to be honest with myself; That’s when my true healing began.

Now I am not perfect by any means, but I sure am better than I use to be.  I still have to keep myself accountable & work my program on a daily basis; but the most precious gift of all is the relationship I have with God; He’s my best friend, my provider , and my reason for living.   Now if that’s not a far cry from the way I use to be I don’t know what is.  I enjoy my life today & helping others is a passion that consumes my entire being.

I don’t know what you may be going through, I don’t know what’s on your mind, or what you may be suffering from; But I do know there’s a way out of  the misery and pain.  There’s a way to live life to the fullest and there’s a way to find peace & happiness; You just have to be willing to take that first step in the right direction.  Reach out to someone and share what’s going on with you on the inside; Share as honestly as you can and allow them to help you learn how to take the next step towards freedom.  Whether it’s an addiction, depression, abuse, fear, or just hopelessness you are struggling with, You Can find the help you are looking for ; But whether you find it or not, is a choice that only you can make.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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Getting into the Solution


So, yesterday was not a very good day for me; I was all wrapped up in myself and self-pity was running riot.  I was feeling as though I had let everyone down and that my dreams were never going to come true; that I was nothing but a failure and I might as well give up.  Yes I went there and for most of the day at that.  It seemed like the harder I tried, the worse things got.  Overwhelming feelings took over like a sudden disaster and seemed to be suffocating me.

I knew that if I allowed these feelings to continue that I was headed for some dangerous territory; so I did what I know to do and I went to my Sponser’s house and shared my feelings and thoughts, in a vulnerable way.  There was nothing positive coming out of my mouth, especially about myself.  She pointed out to me that all I was doing was beating myself up and the only place that was going to get me was into a deep and dark depression.  We talked for a long time and it really felt better getting out what was honestly going on with me , both in my head and in my heart.

Sometimes we just have bad days; We feel “bluh”and just want to escape from it all; especially when everything seems to be falling apart around us.  If we don’t quickly get into the solution, we will lead ourselves’ to much darker places; depression, despair, isolation, fear, loneliness & even destruction.

When you have those days, don’t  beat yourself up; we all go through such times.  Reach out to someone, share what’s going on and be open-minded and willing enough to take some suggestions; and when things seem to be falling apart, don’t allow it to cause you to give up; Just because things aren’t working out on your time-table , doesn’t mean they never will.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/store.html (check out our online store for great Easter ideas and our variety of Inspirational items)

Commitment


Keeping our word is of the utmost importance;  Doing what we say we are going to do, defines our true character and whether or not others will trust us.

When I first got clean/sober, no one expected me to do what I said I was going to do.  I had been deceiving so many during my active addiction, that no one trusted me anymore.  It took some hard work and a lot of practice, but today I can say, unless there are circumstances beyond my control, I do what I say I am going to do.

Have you ever started a project only to leave it undone?  For instance, something as simple as washing clothes or doing dishes?  I always had to leave something undone, whether it was a few utensils in the sink or clothes left in the dryer.  When I realized that if I couldn’t keep a commitment to the small things, I would never be able to tackle the bigger things in life; I began to change.  No, I am not always perfect at this and there are times when either I am sick or something , like an emergency or unexpected visitor comes up; that I am unable to complete what I set out to do.  However today, people know that if I don’t follow through with something, it’s because of something completely out of my control.

Recently I have had to re-group in this area of my life.  When I had to quit my job because of circumstances at home I began to isolate; Then my Facebook page was hacked, then the sales didn’t go like we thought they would, then I became ill and ended up in the hospital for the 3rd time in a year and several other things seemed to be falling apart; That’s when I began feeling sorry for myself and with that self-loathing and self-pity not only did isolation take over, but every time I made plans with someone, I would make up some excuse as to why I couldn’t go through with what I had said I would do.

In Recovery we have Sponsors and although my Sponsor is also my best friend, she doesn’t hesitate to call me out on things.  This was no different; She told me that I was slipping and setting up for a relapse; She was concerned for my well-being and saw that I not only had halted the healing process , but I had gone backwards in leaps and bounds.  At first I was in shock and felt completely helpless, but then I began to pray and take responsibility for my actions; followed by making right those wrongs, to the best of my ability.  I am so happy to say that today I am back on track; back writing, back doing what I love to do on Facebook and helping others; Back selling the jewelry and other inspirational items at my online store and at the 2 on-site stores in Alabama.  No, I am not giving up and Yes I am keeping my word!  I am following through with what I began and I plan on seeing it through to the end

We all fall, we all get off track; None of us are perfect, but we can start over at any given time and learn from our mistakes; Besides that’s what success is all about, growing and learning from the setbacks.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Discouraged?


Sometimes I become so discouraged with life.  Things seem to keep going wrong and nothing wants to work out.  Every time I take a step towards my dreams, I seem to get knocked down.  Many times I have “thrown in the towel” (so to speak); throwing my hands up in the air out of anger and say to heck with it; it’s just not worth all this effort and frustration.   I take a few days away from what I once loved to do and I start feeling an ache in the core of my gut; one that just won’t go away.   I get even more confused and ask God , “What are you doing to me?; I just don’t understand, nothing is going right, so I gave up, why do I keep getting pulled back to the very thing I hated just a few days ago?”  A few days later the pull towards my dream is still there; so I pick up where I left off, more refreshed now, and I assess the situation.  I pray, take a deep breath, & start once again; now that ache, that burning in my gut seems to just disappear.

Doing what we love is one thing, but persevering through the tough times is a very hard task to tackle.  We learn along the way; We find out more information, we do the hard stuff and eventually things will fall into place.  I have heard that anything worth having takes a lot of hard work to get; So I keep dusting myself off and getting back up.  One day I will see the rewards for all the hard work; one day things will be brighter; but for today, I will put one foot in front of the other and keep doing the next right thing.

If you are getting discouraged with a situation, take a break from it.  Sometimes we push ourselves’ too far and wear ourselves’ out; that’s neither healthy nor will it help the situation at all; it only causes you to be short, discouraged, defeated, tired, and exhausted.  We tend to forget that we have to take time for ourselves’; we have to get rest and take a break from it all; Then we can go back; re-assess the situation,  do our pro’s & con’s list, take a deep breath, and move forward.  Our perception seems to be in a much better place and we seem to accomplish more than we did before.  So if something in your life is causing you to want to give up; Take some time to yourself, get away from it all, & allow your body, mind, & spirit to relax for a while; Do something nice for just you; Pray and ask God for Clarity; Examine the situation, “Is it Healthy?”, “What are your reasons for continuing?”, “What are you trying to accomplish?”, “Is causing someone else harm?”, “Is it causing you any harm?”;  Make your list then look at it realistically; be honest with yourself and if that burning passion to continue on is still there after a while, then get up & get going at it again, this time with a fresh & new perspective.

When we become discouraged, we need to relax for a while; Discouragement causes stress and tension , which can cause us to do and say things we don’t really mean; it can cause us to hurt someone else in the process and words are something you can never take back; So slow down, spend some time in prayer and remember God’s got your back.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

DON’T FORGET ABOUT OUR 25% OFF SALE THIS WEEK-END AND OUR FEE DRAWING FOR ONE FREE ITEM FROM OUR ONLINE STORE.  CHECK OUT THE FLYER BELOW FOR MORE DETAILS;

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The “H.O.W.” of the Program


In Recovery, the “H.O.W.’S” of the Program are ; Honesty , Open-mindedness, & Willingness; which hold true not just for those in a 12-Step Program, but life in general.

There are many 12-Step Programs available all across the world today ; from Addiction to Grief, to Co-dependency, to Over-Eaters , and so much more; Whatever the group may be,  the primary focus is on Honesty, Open-mindedness, & Willingness, for without these 3 nothing is going to change.

So whatever you are going through in life, remember that until you are able to get Honest with Yourself, you will be unable to be honest with others; Until you are Open-minded enough to take suggestions from those who want to help, you will remain the same and if you don’t become Willing to do the above, you will never find a new way to live.

Honesty, Open-minded, & Willing are a must , no matter what you are facing in life; for without them, there are no changes and if there are no changes, things remain the same, or they could  get worse.

(((hugs & love)))

Wendy

Feel your feelings


Feel your feelings

Many have been taught to tuck their feelings away;
To pretend that they have it all under control;
While there are times that we must “suck it in” so to speak;
We do that to get through our responsibilities;
We shouldn’t do it for very long;
Express yourself, in a healthy manner;
Talk to someone you can trust;
Write about it, whatever you have to do;
Just don’t deny your feelings because they
won’t just go away;
You must expose them for what they are;
They lose their power that way;
They will come out sooner or later;
Whether it’s in a healthy or unhealthy way;
Is entirely up to you.
(((Hugs & love)))
Wendy

Believe that you have what it takes


I can remember going through a very difficult time in my life and all I wanted to do was give up;

I didn’t see the sense in it all; things looked so hopeless and all I could do was wallow in self-pity, well as I was having my wonderful self-pity party, a friend of mine looked straight at me and said I know I wasn’t invited to this self-pity party of yours; of which I replied , “Oh but yes you were”.  She proceeded to tell me that Recovery was not easy; that life wasn’t easy for that matter; But it was worth it; no matter what you are going through it’s worth far more than you realize and it’s much greater now , than it was your worst day in active addiction.   I stood there speechless, because what I really wanted was someone to wallow in self-pity with me, however what she said was so full of truth!  I thanked her as I was hugging her neck and she looked me straight in the eyes and said…”Believe in yourself, Believe that you can do it, & Believe that you are worth it and that God has got your back!!”  I will never forget those words, for they changed my life that day.  Since then I recall her words often, especially when I am having a hard time believing that I am worth it.  

Know that you are worth whatever it takes to get you where it is you need to be.  Reach out to someone, call or write; Just don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside.  It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while; but there comes a point when it’s time to pick up and move on, may that time come quickly for you as you begin to see that you are worth it too!!

(((hugs & love)))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Just Do The Next Right Thing!


Tonight I decided to visit this blog; of which I haven’t posted in for quite a while.  I can’t explain what it was, but there was this constant picture in my head concerning my old Word Press Blog.  I have ignored it for several weeks now, but tonight the urge was just too strong to ignore.  So here I am; not knowing exactly what my direction I am going in, but I am here.  

The title was chosen , because that’s exactly what I am doing today, “The Next Right Thing”.  I am not sure exactly where my destination will be, but doing what’s in front of me, taking the next right step, well that seems to work for now.  I am procrastinating with my books, with starting my new web page, and in so many other areas.  It’s almost as if there is this hidden fear deep within me and I can’t quite get a hold of it; or maybe it’s just God’s way of telling me to slow down, to take it easy for a little bit and get my thoughts straight.  I just don’t know, so I put one foot in front of the other, do the next right thing for the right reasons and God takes care of the rest, He has to because not much action is coming from my way.

Wings of Encouragement’s facebook page has grown tremendously since my last post on WordPress; frankly that’s where all of my time is spent, writing on the Wings facebook page; but that;s what brings out the joy inside of me, the “Umph” so to speak, it’s what I love doing and find comfort and peace when in the middle of it.  I know that all is going to happen, I know it’s going to turn out just as it should, and I know I will be happy in the midst of it, so I will do what I can each day, if only for 15 minutes or so, and go from there.  Being stuck or in a rut with something or someone is not easy and can become quite frustrating; but you take your deep breaths, send them/it blessings along the way, and keep moving forward, believing all is going to turn out for your Highest Good. I truly do believe that , with all of my heart.  NO it is not easy, it’s quite painful at times, but the lessons learned from the hardships in my life, have changed Me in a powerful and profound way.  So, even when they don’t feel so great, I keep moving forward, praying, doing the next right thing, and having faith that this time will pass and when I get on the other side, I will see just why it had to be so, but most importantly, I will be stronger,  my faith will grow, and I will be a better person. 

Hang in there, this time will pass; Believe in what you are doing, visualize it, see it in your own thoughts, say it out loud, then do the work required to reach your goals; and in the mean time when times get tough, slow down if you must, but keep moving forward and know it’s going to get better as long as you are doing your part!

Sincerely

(((hugs & Love)))

Wendy

p.s.

I am not sure if I will be posting on a regular basis or sending posts from facebook , just not quite sure.  But in the mean time visit our facebook page, wingsofecouragement .

It\’s ok to be right!!


It\’s ok to be right!!.

It\’s ok to be right!!


It\’s ok to be right!!.