Tag Archives: life coach

Honesty


Growing up honesty was not a value we practiced in our home.  I learned from a very young age not to let the “outside” world know what was really happening in our “inside” world at home.   It was something I did on a daily basis & all throughout my day for that matter.

As I grew older , I continued to take this same sense of “dishonesty” with me wherever I went.  It was how I was raised, it’s what I thought was not only right , but okay.  Needless to say, this type of life only lead me to much darker places.  I lied to get what I wanted, when I wanted it .  I lied about being sick, so I didn’t have to do this or that; my lying became such a habit that I even began believing the lies I was telling to everyone else.

During my youth years, my mom and us 4 kids began attending church on a regular basis.  I was so insecure and so afraid.  I grew up in the old testament bible beating you upside the head type of church and I just knew God was going to kill me before I left that building, on so many occasions.  I mean if I was going to hell because I lied, then I might as well hang it up and if kissing a boy gave you a disease and struck you to your death, then I should have already been gone; Yes it was very confusing.  Then bring in the factor that my father sexually abused me and well, I just gave up at that point.  I was more afraid to walk in a church building than I was not to.  I wanted to believe with all of my heart, I really did; but I was too afraid.  I didn’t see God as loving and caring; I saw Him as someone who was waiting to zap me at any moment and send me straight to hell.  I knew that I had not lived up to any Godly Standards in my life, much less the way I was living at the time.  I was more afraid than comfortable with the entire God Thing.

The thoughts and fears and guilt became so overbearing that I chose to run the other way; to completely get away from God; I did whatever I could to make Him “Zap” me, so to speak; I started using the drugs and alcohol to numb all the confusion and pain; That’s when the grips of addiction took hold and swept me away.  I lived in a hell like I never even imagined was possible and the darkness within my heart; well to this day I don’t even like to speak of it.  I hated everyone, only liked you to get what I could from you, & most of all I hated myself with everything I had within me.  I hated the way I looked, acted, talked, walked, slept, played, did homework, & anything else I could think of.  I envied everyone around me,; what I truly wanted was to go with Alice into a rabbit hole, but I didn’t want to come back.

Today my life is completely different.  I found a new way to live ; one that took my life in the direction I thought only others could enjoy.  It didn’t happen overnight; I had to face many fears along the way, the scariest being, have to  face feel my feelings.  Yes that one nearly got the best of me.  However , with a Sponsor in my pocket, God on my side, & Hope in my heart – I kept going One Day at a Time.  I not only learned to be honest, I learned one of the most important values in life; I learned to be honest with myself; That’s when my true healing began.

Now I am not perfect by any means, but I sure am better than I use to be.  I still have to keep myself accountable & work my program on a daily basis; but the most precious gift of all is the relationship I have with God; He’s my best friend, my provider , and my reason for living.   Now if that’s not a far cry from the way I use to be I don’t know what is.  I enjoy my life today & helping others is a passion that consumes my entire being.

I don’t know what you may be going through, I don’t know what’s on your mind, or what you may be suffering from; But I do know there’s a way out of  the misery and pain.  There’s a way to live life to the fullest and there’s a way to find peace & happiness; You just have to be willing to take that first step in the right direction.  Reach out to someone and share what’s going on with you on the inside; Share as honestly as you can and allow them to help you learn how to take the next step towards freedom.  Whether it’s an addiction, depression, abuse, fear, or just hopelessness you are struggling with, You Can find the help you are looking for ; But whether you find it or not, is a choice that only you can make.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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Life is a Gift


I have spent so many years trying to figure this thing called Life out.  I drove myself into bitterness and anger.  I was always crying out to God, asking “Why Me”?  I even became resentful towards God; believing He had abandoned me to only be cursed the rest of my life. I was miserable to say the least.  Nothing made me happy, nothing nor no one.  I couldn’t understand what was going on; why God allowed me to be abused as a child, why my mother was tortured for so many years, why we never had anything.  The world seemed like a cruel place indeed and I wanted nothing to do with reality.  So, when someone told me life was a gift, I would become outraged.  Everything inside of me would cringe with disgust.  I mean that was easy for them to say, they had everything, they weren’t abused, they didn’t lose everything they had, nor did they ever have to sleep in a car; so I tuned them out and before I  knew it, I had become verbally abusive to others who would say such things.  I just didn’t want to hear any of it, because I didn’t believe it.  To me Life was a curse, it was full of suffering and pain, and I found no joy in it whatsoever.

This type of thinking would soon drive me to a life style that I am not proud of , but share with others so they know that others have felt and done the same things.  My life only spiraled downward and before I knew it I was at the point of just wanting to die.  It was then that I finally surrendered and started the Journey of a Lifetime.

One by one I faced the pains and hurt, the fears and tears; And one by one I released them.  I know that sounds so easy, but it wasn’t and still today, when I am not doing what I need to do to stay grounded with God, I fall short in these areas of my life.  However, it doesn’t last long and I am aware of its presence much quicker than before.  I face it and I don’t run, which is a miracle in and of itself.  I now have a relationship with God, like I’ve never had before .  No, its not perfect and sometimes I still doubt and get angry at times, but God understands.  He knows that I am not perfect and neither does He expect me to be.

Coming to near death on several occasions, made me realize just how precious Life really is.  There’s so much I don’t understand, but today I don’t try to figure it all out; that will only drive me to insanity again.  I accept reality for what it is and I live the best that I can.  I try to be always have a  grateful heart, no matter how tough things may be; but the most precious thing I have received in life is Life itself; Yes there have been many times when I didn’t think I could go on one second longer, there have been tragedies, and I still don’t understand why sometimes; but what I do know is the most precious gifts in my life are family & friends; the love we all have for one another; It’s the laughter the joy and the peace that I hold onto when things get rough and my relationship with God is the most important relationship that I have; He shows himself in my husband , friend, animals, sons, and so much more.  I see God everywhere today and that’s a far cry away from where I use to be in life.

Life gets difficult, it throws you punches that literally can knock you out; Things happen that just aren’t fair and there’s pain that seems like it will surely rip your heart out; But that’s life and with all of it’s pitfalls, it is still a Precious Gift that we are blessed to have.

(((hugs & love)))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Commitment


Keeping our word is of the utmost importance;  Doing what we say we are going to do, defines our true character and whether or not others will trust us.

When I first got clean/sober, no one expected me to do what I said I was going to do.  I had been deceiving so many during my active addiction, that no one trusted me anymore.  It took some hard work and a lot of practice, but today I can say, unless there are circumstances beyond my control, I do what I say I am going to do.

Have you ever started a project only to leave it undone?  For instance, something as simple as washing clothes or doing dishes?  I always had to leave something undone, whether it was a few utensils in the sink or clothes left in the dryer.  When I realized that if I couldn’t keep a commitment to the small things, I would never be able to tackle the bigger things in life; I began to change.  No, I am not always perfect at this and there are times when either I am sick or something , like an emergency or unexpected visitor comes up; that I am unable to complete what I set out to do.  However today, people know that if I don’t follow through with something, it’s because of something completely out of my control.

Recently I have had to re-group in this area of my life.  When I had to quit my job because of circumstances at home I began to isolate; Then my Facebook page was hacked, then the sales didn’t go like we thought they would, then I became ill and ended up in the hospital for the 3rd time in a year and several other things seemed to be falling apart; That’s when I began feeling sorry for myself and with that self-loathing and self-pity not only did isolation take over, but every time I made plans with someone, I would make up some excuse as to why I couldn’t go through with what I had said I would do.

In Recovery we have Sponsors and although my Sponsor is also my best friend, she doesn’t hesitate to call me out on things.  This was no different; She told me that I was slipping and setting up for a relapse; She was concerned for my well-being and saw that I not only had halted the healing process , but I had gone backwards in leaps and bounds.  At first I was in shock and felt completely helpless, but then I began to pray and take responsibility for my actions; followed by making right those wrongs, to the best of my ability.  I am so happy to say that today I am back on track; back writing, back doing what I love to do on Facebook and helping others; Back selling the jewelry and other inspirational items at my online store and at the 2 on-site stores in Alabama.  No, I am not giving up and Yes I am keeping my word!  I am following through with what I began and I plan on seeing it through to the end

We all fall, we all get off track; None of us are perfect, but we can start over at any given time and learn from our mistakes; Besides that’s what success is all about, growing and learning from the setbacks.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Get Back to the Basics


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Have you ever just felt like something is missing?  I mean you aren’t unhappy, actually your life is going pretty well in all areas, but something is just not there; something that was once before.

I have been in that place for several months now.  The difference is I knew what was missing, or at least I had an idea as to what it was, but I would do everything possible to talk myself out of doing, what I know in my heart I was supposed to be doing.  Finally after many weeks of pushing and pulling, I finally gave in and got back to the basics last night.  I wasn’t anything hard, difficult, or dramatic that I had to do, but it brought such peace and comfort and the minute I stepped in that room, I could feel my face glowing.  Yes that spark inside of me knew I exactly what it was I had been missing, the fellowship of those just like me, the unconditional love that comes from those very same people and the freedom it all brings.  It was a simple thing, a basic principle that began over 7 years ago; yet I was so determined to fight the urge to do what I knew was right, that I risked the very essence of who I am today.

If something is missing in your life, if you feel like something is lost that you once had, get back to the basics of things; Have you stopped doing something you use to do?  Have you been taking time out for you? Have you been isolating or living in fear?  Whatever it is that you did before start it once again.  The basic values in my program are what have kept me clean for so many years and the choice is mine , as to whether or not I will continue to ignore them or apply them in every area of my life.

((((hugs & love)))

Wendy

Has life become monotonous to you?


When I first began Recovery, it was both exciting and exhilarating at the same time.  Everything was new, the fellowship, new friends, camp outs, the beach conventions, my family was beginning to have faith in me once again and most importantly, I was living life without the use of drugs and I was loving it.

Then that “pink cloud” lifted and I was bored with the same old routine; It just seemed like something was missing and I couldn’t figure out what it was.  I became isolated, depressed, and confused.  I was at the point to where if I didn’t do something, I was headed back to those dark places, I had worked so hard to get out of.  That’s when I ran across an amazing woman, Cheryl , who is one of the founders of Waves of Gratitude; She helped me to see that I could live my dreams, that anything was possible, I just had to take the first step.  She also would not allow me to talk negative about myself or anything I was a part of for that matter; and before I knew it I was writing a book, creating my own Facebook Page (Wings of Encouragement), taking classes and a four-hour exam to become a counselor.  It was amazing at what that one step turned into, in so many areas of my life.

So when I get back to that feeling of being bored with the same old routine, I first remember how far I have come, Second, I write down at least 5 goals that I want to accomplish and keep the list to where I can read it on a daily basis, and Third, I take a step towards those goals, no matter how small it may be.  There are also times I just change my routine up a little; I may go camping, dance like crazy to music (which is very therapeutic for myself),  spend time with some friends, take a small overnight trip, and yes sometimes I even start working out, but that one , well although I know I should, it’s usually the last resort, lol.

My point is if you are becoming bored with the same old same old, then spice it up some; start a new project, change your routine around,  do things that make you laugh, just go and be silly a little while.  You will be surprised at how much a small change can change your entire perspective & mood , for that matter.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

Discouraged?


Sometimes I become so discouraged with life.  Things seem to keep going wrong and nothing wants to work out.  Every time I take a step towards my dreams, I seem to get knocked down.  Many times I have “thrown in the towel” (so to speak); throwing my hands up in the air out of anger and say to heck with it; it’s just not worth all this effort and frustration.   I take a few days away from what I once loved to do and I start feeling an ache in the core of my gut; one that just won’t go away.   I get even more confused and ask God , “What are you doing to me?; I just don’t understand, nothing is going right, so I gave up, why do I keep getting pulled back to the very thing I hated just a few days ago?”  A few days later the pull towards my dream is still there; so I pick up where I left off, more refreshed now, and I assess the situation.  I pray, take a deep breath, & start once again; now that ache, that burning in my gut seems to just disappear.

Doing what we love is one thing, but persevering through the tough times is a very hard task to tackle.  We learn along the way; We find out more information, we do the hard stuff and eventually things will fall into place.  I have heard that anything worth having takes a lot of hard work to get; So I keep dusting myself off and getting back up.  One day I will see the rewards for all the hard work; one day things will be brighter; but for today, I will put one foot in front of the other and keep doing the next right thing.

If you are getting discouraged with a situation, take a break from it.  Sometimes we push ourselves’ too far and wear ourselves’ out; that’s neither healthy nor will it help the situation at all; it only causes you to be short, discouraged, defeated, tired, and exhausted.  We tend to forget that we have to take time for ourselves’; we have to get rest and take a break from it all; Then we can go back; re-assess the situation,  do our pro’s & con’s list, take a deep breath, and move forward.  Our perception seems to be in a much better place and we seem to accomplish more than we did before.  So if something in your life is causing you to want to give up; Take some time to yourself, get away from it all, & allow your body, mind, & spirit to relax for a while; Do something nice for just you; Pray and ask God for Clarity; Examine the situation, “Is it Healthy?”, “What are your reasons for continuing?”, “What are you trying to accomplish?”, “Is causing someone else harm?”, “Is it causing you any harm?”;  Make your list then look at it realistically; be honest with yourself and if that burning passion to continue on is still there after a while, then get up & get going at it again, this time with a fresh & new perspective.

When we become discouraged, we need to relax for a while; Discouragement causes stress and tension , which can cause us to do and say things we don’t really mean; it can cause us to hurt someone else in the process and words are something you can never take back; So slow down, spend some time in prayer and remember God’s got your back.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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Inspirational Jewelry


www.wingsofencouragement.net/bracelets.html
Charm Leather Bracelets

I am so excited about all of our charms that have come in; It’s truly a blessing that I am able to have my own line of jewelry; Here is a direct link to the bracelets www.wingsofencouragement.net/bracelets.html

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Sometimes we think that God isn’t listening , that He isn’t answering our prayers; we as if He has abandoned.  But this is far from the truth.

There have been many times that I would pray and pray and it didn’t seem like God was listening; Then after some time in my Program I began to realize that I was being close-minded concerning God’s answers.  I wanted Him to answer me in a certain way and had shut out the limitless possibilities in which He could answer.  I missed out on a lot of answered prayers in search for my “burning bush”.  And I mean that literally.  I wanted to watch something appear the way I wanted it to, whether it be that burning bush or something falling from the sky or into my lap.  That’s just not how it has worked for me.  Yes there have been times that opportunities occurred with little or no effort on my part, but more often than not, God has answered my prayers through the people both in and out of my life.

Stay open-minded when it comes to clarity of God’s answers and purposes for you; Don’t limit your answers.  It reminds me of a parable that a friend of mine use to tell me all the time; it goes something like this; There was a big flood coming and people were being evacuated; This one man prayed for God to save him from the flood; In the mean time someone came by with a ladder to help the man escape from his home that was now rising with water, and the man said, “No, God is going to save me”; Then someone came in a boat also offering to rescue the man, but he stated the same words he did to the man in the boat, “God is going to save me” .  Then a helicopter came down to rescue the man and once again he spoke the same words, “God is going to save me”.   The flood ended up engulfing the man’s home and himself; When he reached Heaven he asked God , Why didn’t you save me and God’s reply was, “I sent you a ladder, a boat, and a helicopter”.

Having a closed mind when it comes to God’s guidance, will cause you to miss out on some of the most beautiful & amazing opportunities in your life.  So stay open-minded and let God do His thing.

(((Hug s& love)))

Wendy Box

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

It\’s ok to be right!!


It\’s ok to be right!!.