Tag Archives: counselor

Honesty


Growing up honesty was not a value we practiced in our home.  I learned from a very young age not to let the “outside” world know what was really happening in our “inside” world at home.   It was something I did on a daily basis & all throughout my day for that matter.

As I grew older , I continued to take this same sense of “dishonesty” with me wherever I went.  It was how I was raised, it’s what I thought was not only right , but okay.  Needless to say, this type of life only lead me to much darker places.  I lied to get what I wanted, when I wanted it .  I lied about being sick, so I didn’t have to do this or that; my lying became such a habit that I even began believing the lies I was telling to everyone else.

During my youth years, my mom and us 4 kids began attending church on a regular basis.  I was so insecure and so afraid.  I grew up in the old testament bible beating you upside the head type of church and I just knew God was going to kill me before I left that building, on so many occasions.  I mean if I was going to hell because I lied, then I might as well hang it up and if kissing a boy gave you a disease and struck you to your death, then I should have already been gone; Yes it was very confusing.  Then bring in the factor that my father sexually abused me and well, I just gave up at that point.  I was more afraid to walk in a church building than I was not to.  I wanted to believe with all of my heart, I really did; but I was too afraid.  I didn’t see God as loving and caring; I saw Him as someone who was waiting to zap me at any moment and send me straight to hell.  I knew that I had not lived up to any Godly Standards in my life, much less the way I was living at the time.  I was more afraid than comfortable with the entire God Thing.

The thoughts and fears and guilt became so overbearing that I chose to run the other way; to completely get away from God; I did whatever I could to make Him “Zap” me, so to speak; I started using the drugs and alcohol to numb all the confusion and pain; That’s when the grips of addiction took hold and swept me away.  I lived in a hell like I never even imagined was possible and the darkness within my heart; well to this day I don’t even like to speak of it.  I hated everyone, only liked you to get what I could from you, & most of all I hated myself with everything I had within me.  I hated the way I looked, acted, talked, walked, slept, played, did homework, & anything else I could think of.  I envied everyone around me,; what I truly wanted was to go with Alice into a rabbit hole, but I didn’t want to come back.

Today my life is completely different.  I found a new way to live ; one that took my life in the direction I thought only others could enjoy.  It didn’t happen overnight; I had to face many fears along the way, the scariest being, have to  face feel my feelings.  Yes that one nearly got the best of me.  However , with a Sponsor in my pocket, God on my side, & Hope in my heart – I kept going One Day at a Time.  I not only learned to be honest, I learned one of the most important values in life; I learned to be honest with myself; That’s when my true healing began.

Now I am not perfect by any means, but I sure am better than I use to be.  I still have to keep myself accountable & work my program on a daily basis; but the most precious gift of all is the relationship I have with God; He’s my best friend, my provider , and my reason for living.   Now if that’s not a far cry from the way I use to be I don’t know what is.  I enjoy my life today & helping others is a passion that consumes my entire being.

I don’t know what you may be going through, I don’t know what’s on your mind, or what you may be suffering from; But I do know there’s a way out of  the misery and pain.  There’s a way to live life to the fullest and there’s a way to find peace & happiness; You just have to be willing to take that first step in the right direction.  Reach out to someone and share what’s going on with you on the inside; Share as honestly as you can and allow them to help you learn how to take the next step towards freedom.  Whether it’s an addiction, depression, abuse, fear, or just hopelessness you are struggling with, You Can find the help you are looking for ; But whether you find it or not, is a choice that only you can make.

((((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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Has life become monotonous to you?


When I first began Recovery, it was both exciting and exhilarating at the same time.  Everything was new, the fellowship, new friends, camp outs, the beach conventions, my family was beginning to have faith in me once again and most importantly, I was living life without the use of drugs and I was loving it.

Then that “pink cloud” lifted and I was bored with the same old routine; It just seemed like something was missing and I couldn’t figure out what it was.  I became isolated, depressed, and confused.  I was at the point to where if I didn’t do something, I was headed back to those dark places, I had worked so hard to get out of.  That’s when I ran across an amazing woman, Cheryl , who is one of the founders of Waves of Gratitude; She helped me to see that I could live my dreams, that anything was possible, I just had to take the first step.  She also would not allow me to talk negative about myself or anything I was a part of for that matter; and before I knew it I was writing a book, creating my own Facebook Page (Wings of Encouragement), taking classes and a four-hour exam to become a counselor.  It was amazing at what that one step turned into, in so many areas of my life.

So when I get back to that feeling of being bored with the same old routine, I first remember how far I have come, Second, I write down at least 5 goals that I want to accomplish and keep the list to where I can read it on a daily basis, and Third, I take a step towards those goals, no matter how small it may be.  There are also times I just change my routine up a little; I may go camping, dance like crazy to music (which is very therapeutic for myself),  spend time with some friends, take a small overnight trip, and yes sometimes I even start working out, but that one , well although I know I should, it’s usually the last resort, lol.

My point is if you are becoming bored with the same old same old, then spice it up some; start a new project, change your routine around,  do things that make you laugh, just go and be silly a little while.  You will be surprised at how much a small change can change your entire perspective & mood , for that matter.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

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Sometimes we think that God isn’t listening , that He isn’t answering our prayers; we as if He has abandoned.  But this is far from the truth.

There have been many times that I would pray and pray and it didn’t seem like God was listening; Then after some time in my Program I began to realize that I was being close-minded concerning God’s answers.  I wanted Him to answer me in a certain way and had shut out the limitless possibilities in which He could answer.  I missed out on a lot of answered prayers in search for my “burning bush”.  And I mean that literally.  I wanted to watch something appear the way I wanted it to, whether it be that burning bush or something falling from the sky or into my lap.  That’s just not how it has worked for me.  Yes there have been times that opportunities occurred with little or no effort on my part, but more often than not, God has answered my prayers through the people both in and out of my life.

Stay open-minded when it comes to clarity of God’s answers and purposes for you; Don’t limit your answers.  It reminds me of a parable that a friend of mine use to tell me all the time; it goes something like this; There was a big flood coming and people were being evacuated; This one man prayed for God to save him from the flood; In the mean time someone came by with a ladder to help the man escape from his home that was now rising with water, and the man said, “No, God is going to save me”; Then someone came in a boat also offering to rescue the man, but he stated the same words he did to the man in the boat, “God is going to save me” .  Then a helicopter came down to rescue the man and once again he spoke the same words, “God is going to save me”.   The flood ended up engulfing the man’s home and himself; When he reached Heaven he asked God , Why didn’t you save me and God’s reply was, “I sent you a ladder, a boat, and a helicopter”.

Having a closed mind when it comes to God’s guidance, will cause you to miss out on some of the most beautiful & amazing opportunities in your life.  So stay open-minded and let God do His thing.

(((Hug s& love)))

Wendy Box

http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/

It\’s ok to be right!!


It\’s ok to be right!!.

It\’s ok to be right!!


It\’s ok to be right!!.