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Guilt and Shame can keep you stuck in the past and fearful of the future, if not dealt with in the appropriate manner.
In Recovery we go by our 8th & 9th Steps, which first tell us to make a list of all the persons we have harmed , then to become willing to make amends , to the best of our ability. This does not mean that we grovel or crawl, begging forgiveness; it means what it simply says, We do it to the best of our ability. We approach the person and or place, as long as it does not cause harm to ourselves’ or others, and we don’t say I’m Sorry (for they have heard that quite often and it doesn’t mean much to them at all) we admit our wrongs, ask what we can do to make it right, and then we go out there and make a living amends, which means don’t continue the same behaviors that put us in such a predicament to begin with.
It’s not about begging for forgiveness; It’s about owning up to your part and being willing to make it right; Whether or not they forgive us is not the point; The point is that we faced something that we never thought we would be able to; that we are finally taking responsibility for our wrongful acts and are willing to not only make it right, but to live differently in the future.
Most of the time they do forgive us, but sometimes they don’t and that’s okay. Each person is entitled to their feelings and have their own process of healing; But now we can hold our heads up high, looking the world in the eye, for we have completely and thoroughly examined our wrongs and made them right.
(((hugs & love))))
This is one of our latest new items; New Color and New Charm; We also now have Cross Bracelets and 2 new charms;
I am so excited about this new Journey I am on; Life is so good and to be able to help people and write and have my own line of Inspirational Jewelry & More Store – well it’s truly a blessing.
Don’t ever give up on your dreams, no matter what your age may be; You deserve the best that life and love have to offer; so go for those dreams and don’t allow anyone to hold you back.
((((hugs & love))))
For years all of my values and morals were non-existent. I had either shoved them away, choosing not to believe in them any longer or I had decided that I no longer wanted to live being the good girl no more. When my Values seized to exist, my life went down in a rapid manner; Before long I was acting and acting out in ways that I had once said I would never do. It took nearly losing my life and being locked up in jail before I realized that something had to change and quick; That’s when I began the Journey of re-evaluating what it was I truly believed.
Honesty, was the first value I applied back into my life; It was a do or die situation and I knew that if nothing changed then nothing would change; Then I began to add willingness and open-mindedness to my list; Before long Faith, Hope, Perseverance, Courage, Serenity, Surrender and many more values were added. No matter what I was struggling with those values helped me to get into the solution and soon whatever I was facing got better or at least more tolerable; and before I knew it Joy had returned; But too often we forget that the joy doesn’t come from the external things at all, it comes from the value itself.
So if things are a bit out of sorts in your life; Get back to the Basics; Get back to the values you once valued and soon you will notice just how much of a difference they truly make.
(((hugs & love))))
Rejection hurts and it scars many people for a life time; according to who and what the rejection was over. However what hurts worse than anything is rejecting ourselves’.
Whatever the reason my be, we have to face the pains once inflicted on us, due to rejection, or we will never be able to be able to accept ourselves’ fully. It can be painful to face such matters, but if we keep pushing through the pain, feel our feelings, and free them; we can move on to a much better place. One that involves freedom from self-rejection. There’s nothing wrong with not liking something about yourself; you have to know something’s wrong before you can change it. But, trying to be someone who we aren’t, just to gain the acceptance of others is not healthy at all.
Be yourself, if there’s something you want to change; then go ahead, Change it; But don’t change it to be like or for someone else, change it because it betters you and it’s something you want to do.
(((hug s& love)))
Addicts and Alcoholics have a very difficult , if not impossible time, accepting Life on Life’s Terms. This has always been particularly hard for me and although I am much better than I use to be, I am by far not perfect at it. There are things that happen on this Universe that I just don’t understand and the more I try to , the more frustrated and angry I become.
In Recovery we have to find a way that works for us, in order to ensure that we no longer use drugs or alcohol to cover up reality. First of course is developing a working relationship with a God of your understanding; then we go even deeper and review or old beliefs and ideas; which can be revised at any time we choose. I had to do just that, create new ideas and beliefs that worked for me or else I would never have gone forward in life.
Today I view things completely different from what I did a little over 7 years ago and I am much happier as a result of it. I no longer believe that God makes bad things happen; I believe that Life just happens and sometimes it is extremely painful. I believe in the “everything happens for a reason” slogan, but in a different aspect than others. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but on man occasions it’s at no fault of our own; I also don’t believe that God causes horrible things to happen, just to test us; I do believe that bad things happen to good people and that God can take those bad things and turn them into something good. What I do know is that no matter what has happened in my life, no matter how painful it may have been, God has ALWAYS given me the strength to walk through it, always!
That’s the we I believe because that’s what works for me, but no matter how you believe, Just Believe and when it comes to Life on Life’s terms stuff; well the sooner you accept it the better off you are going to be. Life happens, it keeps going; whether we like it or not; so you might as well accept it; it’s going to keep on going no matter what!
(((hugs & love)))
Check out our store at http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/store.html for more inspirational jewelry and t-shirts and more;
New items will be arriving soon.
Too often we say things like, “I’m still waiting”, ” He never answered my prayers”, ” I am still stuck”, etc and we fail to realize that it’s because we aren’t getting “what we think” we should be getting. When we think that way we are limiting God’s blessings. We aren’t being open-minded to receiving whatever it is that He may be bringing our way.
Now don’t get me wrong, when my nephew passed at the age of 20 from an overdose and my sister-n-law looked at me and said., “I don’t understand, there were so many people praying for him,, why didn’t God answer ?” , All I could respond with was, “I don’t know, I don’t get things like that” and I don’t. I do believe that life happens based on choices that we make, and sometimes the choices of others effect the innocent ones; God gives us the freedom of choice; He won’t against our will and while I can’t explain why bad things happen to good people; I have seen many of human era based on humans choices in life; whether it be to themselves’ or someone totally innocent. While I can’t explain it , I can say that God can take something horrible and turn it into something amazing! It has happen to me , most of my life. And I have also been in the rut of “God isn’t listening to me” on more occasions than I care to re-call. It’s almost always because I am not being open-minded to the ways in which He can answer my prayers. I try to “limit” God’s answers to ways that only fit my fancy (so to speak). That doesn’t work, because God is limitless and when we try to contain His blessings we miss out on all that God is trying to bless us with. He won’t make us believe, He won’t make us see, He won’t make us accept His Blessings, but He will be there when we become open-minded enough to view all aspects of His might ways.
So don’t limit your blessings to only that of which you think they should be; They come in many shapes, sizes, & forms and if you’re limiting the ways in which they can come, you are stopping the very of them all together.
(((hugs & love))))
I was empty and lost , with no sign of hope whatsoever, a little over 7 years ago. I just knew I would die in active addiction and was okay with it. I saw the world as a cruel and vengeful place; I looked at God as though he were punishing me ; along with abandoning my pleas of desperation during such dark times. It wasn’t until I had lost it all, that all of my consequences caught up with me and I was sitting in a jail cell wondering if I would ever see my family again; that I finally realized & surrendered to getting help.
I will never forget that day of sweet surrender. I can remember it as though it were yesterday; My mom came to my house (which she never did anymore, because of my addiction) , sat in front of me and said , “Are you ready to stop all the lies, Wendy?” I fell into her arms and cried as if I were 2 years old again. It had been far too long since my mom had even seen me, much less held me in her arms, so yes it was the sweetest surrender I have ever known.
I called a treatment center who was able to get me in much quicker than they had originally thought and that began my life in Recovery!! My Spirit started awakening during my stay and there it was,,HOPE IN MY HEART!! It came like a blast of waves, knocking to my knees; somewhere I hadn’t been for far too long. Before I knew it, I was excited about life, I had Hope that there would be better tomorrows and I had Hope that I could and would be a better person, because of it. I listened, took suggestions, and put action into every step that I took.. And here I am today, running a Facebook page of over 1,2 million, having my own line of inspirational jewelry & more, at http://www.wingsofencouragement.net/, I am finishing my upcoming Meditation Book, and helping others learn how to deal with life on life’s terms, without the use of drugs and alcohol.
I have survived living with an alcoholic father, sexual abuse , mental abuse, torture, abandonment, the horrors of addiction, & more and I am living proof that no matter what you are going through in life, You can and will survive and live a prosperous life; the life you’ve always dreamed of living, if you just surrender to a new way of living; There is Hope!
So if you’ve lost your hope, it’s time to get it back, because when there’s no Hope in your life, you can go to some really dark places. Find your Hope again, it’s there, I promise and when it comes I pray it hits you like mine hit me; Fall to your knees, Pray, & keep doing the next right thing for the right reasons; Your Hope never left you, You just forgot it was there.
(((hugs & love))))
When I am in harmony with all that surrounds me, with God and myself; I am able to walk through chaos, with faith and a positive attitude. I don’t deny my feelings; they are recognized, felt , and released; my attitude is filled with love and acceptance. I know that I have done all that I can and God will take care of the rest.
Yes, it’s difficult, but worrying about it won’t change things; actually you will end up having to go through the incident twice, if what your fearing comes into play.
So do what you can, then let go of the rest; It’s much better to have peace, than fear in your heart. Don’t allow yourself to be blocked today; Go do something fun, enjoy some alone time, read a book, listen to some music, have coffee with a family member or friend, just DO something different, that will take your mind off of the situation. Recite Positive Affirmations, whether you feel it or not, make a gratitude list, make a phone call to someone who is lonely, etc…. There’s many things you can do, which require no money; So DO them; You only have this one life to live and NOW ,THIS VERY MOMENT, is worth cherishing!