My perception of Prayer was so tangled and twisted for many years.  I thought that I was supposed to get everything, just the way I wanted it, and when I wanted it; which was always right now.   As years began passing I started believing that God didn’t love me, because He never answered my prayers; I would pray and pray and still no answers.  When I was a little girl, I would pray for God to make my daddy stop what he was doing, but still the abuse continued; So no wonder I always looked at God as though He was cruel & punishing.

Since I have been in Recovery, my entire perception of God & Prayer have changed drastically.  Prayer is not about how long you do it, or what kind of fancy words you say; it’s about talking to God; having a conversation with Him.  I always thought prayer was to be practiced in certain ways and if you didn’t do it that way, God wasn’t listening.  I have prayed for many things in my lifetime, and many things I have been denied, but it ended up being for my best interest.

Now does that mean I can tell you why God doesn’t answer prayers, NO.  There are still many things I don’t understand about life and that’s probably one of the biggest ones.  However, I do know that God works through people and a lot of times we sit back and talk about how bad a situation is, yet we aren’t willing to do anything to help.  I also know that bad things happen to good people, why I am not sure; but I don’t try to figure it out anymore, because that puts me in a very dangerous place.  I also know that people tend to forget that there is Good and there is Evil in this world.  I know that God gave me self-will and will  not force anything upon me; He allows me to make my choices and I have to live with those consequences.

With that being said, no I don’t understand why children have to suffer, or why horrific things happen to good people;  no more than I understand why I was abused as a child; But I do know that God didn’t make it happen to me, just to prove a point; I can’t believe that, because then I wouldn’t have anything to do with God; But I do know that when my mom reached out for help it was a loving pastor and his church who took us in , hid us, and paid for everything.

So when I pray today, I make sure I ask God to give me the strength to make it through whatever comes my way and that I be compassionate and kind to others.  Remember God uses His people, that He made in His Image to work His work; We are created to have  “A  Relationship with God” and prayer is a way of talking to Him; it doesn’t have to be perfect, nor does it have to be long;  a simple, gentle “God Help Me” from deep within our hearts is more than enough.

(((hugs & love)))


God hears prayer, but remember sometimes


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