Guilt & Shame


Guilt and Shame can keep you stuck in the past and fearful of the future, if not dealt with in the appropriate manner.

In Recovery we go by our 8th & 9th Steps, which first tell us to make a list of all the persons we have harmed , then to become willing to make amends , to the best of our ability.  This does not mean that we grovel or crawl, begging forgiveness; it means what it simply says, We do it to the best of our ability.  We approach the person and or place, as long as it does not cause harm to ourselves’ or others, and we don’t say I’m Sorry (for they have heard that quite often and it doesn’t mean much to them at all) we admit our wrongs, ask what we can do to make it right, and then we go out there and make a living amends, which means don’t continue the same behaviors that put us in such a predicament to begin with.

It’s not about begging for forgiveness; It’s about owning up to your part and being willing to make it right; Whether or not they forgive us is not the point; The point is that we faced something that we never thought we would be able to; that we are finally taking responsibility for our wrongful acts and are willing to not only make it right, but to live differently in the future.

Most of the time they do forgive us, but sometimes they don’t and that’s okay.  Each person is entitled to their feelings and have their own process of healing; But now we can hold our heads up high, looking the world in the eye, for we have completely and thoroughly examined our wrongs and made them right.

(((hugs & love))))

Wendy

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