I often wonder what it is that I truly believe; while my perspective has dramatically improved over the past 5 1/2 years, there are still many question running through my head. In the midst of it all , when those gut drenching punches from life come bellowing in, the anger inside of me begins to boil in such a powerful way. I immediately blame God, as if He’s punishing me, and start questioning all that exists in this world.
Those are all completely self-centered attitudes, yet normal in and of themselves’. So today instead of allowing them to get out of control, I allow myself to feel & free each emotion which comes my way. No, there’ s nothing easy about it; nothing at all and yes the questions will continue to pop up in my head; yet today I choose to look at life differently, in a more positive way; because when it boils down to it, it’s all up to me. I can choose to become negative, full of anger, and lash out at any and everyone who comes my way; or I can choose to honor the feelings, feeling them, and free their existence; then I can move forward, effecting those which I cherish in a more positive way.
What I do know today is if I keep doing what I know to do; Meetings, Reach out to a Sponsor and friends, write, pray (whether I know who I’m praying to or not) , and not give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens; well when I put all of that into play, my life just tends to get better.