Letting go has always been a difficult task for me. Knowing when to hold on and when to let go requires balance; which has been the most tedious task in my Recovery.
Obtaining the knowledge to accept the things I cannot change & the courage to change the things I can, well that requires wisdom; which takes many years of living life on life’s terms. So what do I do? I pray, meditate, write, call my Sponsor, talk with others, and just do what is right in front of me. I take a step and do the best that I can, then I Let Go and allow my Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) to take care of the rest.
When I notice that I am fighting against something, when I’ve tried over and over again, yet nothing seems to be working; well that’s when I take some suggestions from others (just as I did when I chose to stop using). Open-mindedness and willingness are a MUST in this area. If I am not willing to be open about what others suggest, nor willing; then I have not surrendered the issue at hand.
In my life, God works through people, so when someone reaches out to help with suggestions (the ones I asked for) I take them! That means I am willing and have given up my way of doing things (which hasn’t worked) and do it another way. Experimenting with different ideas, going in some direction, instead of sitting still and doing nothing, helps me to make progress. I don’t believe in failing; if something doesn’t work out then I have received the confirmation not to go in that direction. (if that makes any sense at all). So any decision I make, is helping me to know which path it is I am to take.
Then there are those things (usually people) where we have tried over and over again to mend with, yet keep walking into a brick wall instead. Those are the times that we may need to walk away, let of it (them) for a while so we can each have our space. The old saying, “If you love something set it free; If it is your’s it will come back to you: If it’s not it won’t” (not sure who the author is); well it’s full of truth.
When I’m trying to make a decision in life, and am baffled as what to do, I say the Serenity Prayer (God , grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change; The courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference” I repeat it over and over, as I rub a rubbing rock or special charm on a necklace. Sounds a bit trivial, but it works for me.
Yes it is difficult to know whether we are to change something or accept that we cannot change it, but I believe that my God will show me the way I am to go through people, places, and things; He will lot leave me stranded!